1. How many couples do you need as guests to run the course?
You can do it with one couple or hundreds of
couples – it works whatever the size. As
the course grows you need to be careful to continue
to give the couples enough space for private communication
and to make the atmosphere as relaxed and welcoming
as possible.
2. Is it better to do the talks or use the videos?
We have found that guests enjoy having live
speakers, who are willing to share details of
their own married life. However, we are told by
others that the videos work very well as an alternative.
There is a lot to think about when running the
course at first – using the videos may take
the pressure off the course leaders, allowing
time to concentrate on creating the right environment
and looking after the guests. At a later stage,
the videos may be replaced by live speakers for
some or all of the talks. This may also be a help
if there are subjects the leaders would feel awkward
addressing. The CD-Rom speaker notes include the
transcripts of Nicky and Sila Lee’s talks
and the presentation slides.
3. What do you do if people miss a session?
If people let us know that they will miss a
session we give them a tape of the talk that they
missed. When our course was smaller, we sent it
to them during the week so that they could listen
to it before the next session. As the course has
grown, we now arrange for them to pick it up the
next time they attend – obviously for the
last session it needs to be sent out by post.
As for checking up on people who have missed
a session – this depends on whether or not
we have got to know them. If it is a couple we
know personally or have counselled we may want
to phone them if they miss one or two sessions.
However, we are keen not to put pressure on any
couples who choose not to return.
4. What kind of settings have people run the
course in and how can it be adapted (ie) to be
run in a home?
The course has been run in churches, church
halls, conference venues, community centres, coffee
shops and private homes. The ideal is to find
a venue that is as relaxed and as comfortable
as possible.
If it is run in a home it is important to make
sure that there are enough areas or rooms for
couples to be able to do the exercises privately,
and not to feel that they are being overheard
- background music or moving to different rooms
helps to facilitate this.
5. Who are the Support Couples?
We find that about 10 per cent of the couples
want extra help and a chance to talk through an
issue/issues with the leaders. At Holy Trinity
Brompton the course has grown so large that we
were not able to see all the couples ourselves,
so we have other couples called Support Couples
to help. These couples are introduced at the start
of the course and are available to see people
at the end of the evening or at another time.
They can help to welcome guests when they arrive
and also pray with the leaders before the evening
begins.
How do you spot a potential Marriage
Support Couple? They will be a couple
who have done the course and are familiar with
the material. They should be strong Christians
with a strong marriage, have a heart for helping
people who are struggling and therefore feel comfortable
discussing relevant issues with couples in need.
They may well have had to work through these issues
themselves.
6. How much can we adapt the material?
You will want to use your own stories and examples
in the talks (if you are doing the talks live).
You may also want to find your own testimony couples
to speak each week on how they have worked through
the issues discussed at that session. However,
we would ask that you keep the main structure
and content of the course the same, as we are
keen to keep the integrity of the course. We want
to ensure that wherever someone does the course
– be it in London or New York – it
is the same course and the guests know what to
expect. Also, if we advertise the course on our
directory we want to know that all the courses
have the same content, structure and vision.
7. How do you promote the course?
The best way is for people who have done the
course to invite friends to The Marriage Course
Party. As with the Alpha course, we find that
personal recommendations work best. In the Leaders’
Guide there is a section on promoting the course.
You may also want to consider advertising in your
local newspaper, church newsletter, community
centre, doctor’s surgery or on the internet.
See Publications for materials to advertise your
course.
8. Do you have invitations for The Marriage
Course Party? And do you charge for the party?
No. At present there are no published invitations
but we can give you the invitations used at Holy
Trinity Brompton as an idea of what we have done
- and we will be publishing official ones in the
near future.
We do not charge the people who are on the course
as this was included in the initial charge. However,
we do charge for additional guests (£9 each)
and often the people who have invited them cover
that cost.
9. Any ideas about (what to do about) baby-sitting?
At Holy Trinity Brompton we don’t organise
baby-sitting because our course has grown too
large to accommodate this. However, other churches
have organised baby-sitting rotas. They ask single
people and other members of the church to commit
to baby-sitting for the eight evenings of the
course. They say students are particularly interested
as they get to spend the evening in a home and
also get a good meal left for them!
10. What if I can’t arrange a meal for
the course?
We feel the meal is an important part of the
evening as it sets the environment for the couples
to feel it is a ‘date night’. However,
if it proves to be logistically impossible, a
drink on arrival with tea/coffee and cake/biscuits
served later during the session is the second
option. |
