| With two out of
every five marriages breaking down in the UK,
thirty five per cent of them within the first
six years, the institution of marriage is under
threat today. Some are suggesting that the traditional
goal of life-long marriage should be abandoned
in favour of an arrangement that makes ‘coupling’
and ‘un-coupling’ as easy as possible.
Yet marriage remains of vital importance as the
foundation of a stable society. Marriage is the
ideal God-given basis of family life, particularly
because children learn best what committed, loving
relationships are all about through their experience
of the commitment between their mother and father.
Many people get married without ever having seen
a model of how to build a marriage. They lack
the tools that enable them to remain connected.
If they stay together, they may exist side by
side under the same roof but lose the intimacy
between them. They have been embarrassed to seek
help or have not known where to find it.
Christians have much to offer. The Bible not
only defines what marriage is but also teaches
us how to build a marriage over a lifetime. Biblical
principles for strong relationships are desperately
needed and increasingly sought after in our society.
The aim of The Marriage Course is to enable married
couples to build a healthy marriage that will
last a lifetime. Over eight evenings spent together
they find out new things about each other, and
new things about themselves.
They have the opportunity to talk about issues
that have been swept under the carpet in the rush
of daily life. They discover what makes their
partner feel loved. They have the time to discuss
ways they have caused each other pain and discover
how to heal the hurt. They recognise the sources
of pressure on their relationship. Some learn
new skills for communicating and resolving conflict.
Others make changes in their lifestyle in order
to nurture their marriage. And they grow closer
to each other in the process.
Their privacy as a couple is always respected.
There is no requirement to disclose anything personal
to a third party. But they are expected to talk
to each other.
We have been developing The Marriage Course at
Holy Trinity Brompton since September 1996. We
run the course three times a year and over a thousand
couples have now done it. Our experience has shown
us again and again that any marriage can be strengthened
through doing the course when both husband and
wife are prepared to work at their relationship
together.
The Marriage Course is designed for others to
use whether in a big group or with one or two
other couples in their own home. Our hope and
prayer is that many courses will be established
so that any couple anywhere can find the help
and encouragement they need to build their marriage.
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