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Oh, summer! The season of sun-drenched beaches, balmy evenings, and carefully filtered social media posts of happy families on perfectly curated holidays. But behind the glossy snapshots and smiling selfies, summer getaways can often bring with them a surprising amount of tension – especially for couples.
Let’s face it… planning a holiday as a married couple or family can feel more like a military operation than a relaxing break. Between balancing different travel styles, budget expectations, and the pressure to “make memories”, it’s no wonder tempers sometimes flare before the bags are even packed.
One of the biggest sources of conflict? Differing ideas of what a “perfect” holiday looks like. You may dream of long, lazy days reading by the pool, while your partner envisions a jam-packed itinerary of excursions and activities. Or perhaps one of you values peace and privacy, while the other wants to invite extended family along for the fun. These contrasting visions often reflect deeper needs – for rest, connection, stimulation, or even validation. The key is to uncover and honour those needs through honest, pre-holiday conversations.
Then there’s the minefield of logistics: booking flights, choosing accommodation, managing the budget, packing for children, remembering passports – all before you’ve even left home. If one partner ends up carrying most of the mental load, resentment can easily build. To prevent this, you can try sitting down together early on and dividing responsibilities in a way that feels fair. It might not be a 50/50 split, but it should be something you both feel good about.
Travelling with children (or extended family) brings its own challenges too. Different parenting styles can clash under pressure, and tired, overstimulated children have a way of testing even the strongest of partnerships. It helps to agree ahead of time on how you’ll handle things like screen time, bedtimes, and meals – and to give each other space to take breaks. A short solo walk or an hour with a book can go a long way in restoring patience and perspective.
Even personality differences that feel minor during daily life can become magnified on holiday. If one of you needs alone time to recharge, while the other thrives on constant togetherness, tensions can simmer just below the surface. A good way to handle this is to be proactive in giving each other the freedom to holiday in a way that feels nourishing – whether that’s sneaking off for a morning run or booking a couple’s spa treatment.
Finally, don’t fall into the trap of believing that a “successful” holiday is one where everything goes according to plan. Flights may be delayed, weather may disappoint, and plans may fall through. But the real success lies in how you navigate those moments together – with humour, flexibility, and grace.
A holiday isn’t just a break from routine; it’s an opportunity to learn more about each other, to reconnect, and to strengthen your partnership. By communicating openly, sharing the load, and making space for each other’s needs, you can turn even the most chaotic family holiday into something meaningful. At the end of the day, it’s not about the perfect itinerary – it’s about choosing to be on the same team, wherever the road takes you.
